War is madness, I give in
by Ms D Longbottom
Summary: Part of the quidditch league fanfiction competition. Songfic (I guess? I've never written one before) James and Lily share a night in their common room four weeks before they leave Hogwarts for the raging war beyond it's walls.


**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**The Quidditch League Fan Fiction Competition.**

**Team: Pride of Portree **

**Position: Chaser one **

**Prompts: **Pretence, Dialogue: "But would you have it any other way?", Notebook.

"I give up, I give in

To the whole of your skin

(I give up, I give in Am I doing this again?)"

- This Heart, Mary Lambert

Lily Evans was scrawling away furiously in her leather notebook, tears cascading down her cheeks. She was on the edge, her parents were dead, her sister refused to speak to her and she had finally accepted that her and Severus would never be friends again. She'd chosen the Order and he'd chosen the dark lord Voldemort. She was in all simplicity heartbroken.

_Where do I move from here? There is a war raging outside Hogwarts walls and I'm supposed to become a part of it. I'm a muggle born. I have no future in the world of death eaters. Dumbledore keeps saying that love will triumph and that we must hold out hope. But how can I? I'm tired and broken. Being head girl has done nothing to help gain me respect from my peers. They're still under the pretence that I'm just a muggle-born/ mudblood who doesn't belong._

_At least the marauders make it easier to some extent. I finally have some true friends but that doesn't make me any less afraid. Being with me they risk everything, their status, their lives. It's killing me. I wanna give up, just give in but I can't. We can't go back now. We have a world to defend..._

"Lily?" James called out as he entered the heads common room. Lily wiped her eyes hurriedly and slammed the book shut.

"Hey James how was patrol?" She said through a false smile, but her voice cracked and faltered.

"It was fine. But you're not. What's wrong flower?" He asked concerned, loosening his tie.

"Everything. My parents, Severus, this war. What am I going to do?" She sighed. James sighed and came to sit beside her. He took the notebook from her and read it slowly, running his fingers along every hurried word. Feeling the marks it left in the paper. He shut it and turned to her.

"Come here" He said opening his arms to her. She crawled over and into his embrace. "You'll always have me Lils, and Sirius and Remus, Peter, Alice and Marlene. We're your friends Lily we'll always be here for you."

"You'll be slaughtered. We all will. We are so heavily outnumbered. My parents were murdered."

"Well I'd rather die an honourable death fighting the cause, then live in a world where you're not allowed to. I..." He stuttered not finishing his sentence.

"What?" She asked sitting up and looking him in the eye. "What is it?"

"You don't wanna hear it. We've been friends for months. I'm not stuffing that up in a sentence Evans"

"Potter. We're in a war. It's now or never. In four weeks we leave these walls behind us. We're out there in the world fighting for our rights, our lives... and you won't finish a bloody sentence? How stupid is that? What if I die out there and you regret never saying what you were going to say? I don't know about you but I'm tired. I'm sick and tired James. I'm sick of being afraid, I'm sick of life. I want to _live._ I mean I want to really _live_, no regrets" She said angrily

That's when it happened. His chest swelled and he looked her in the eyes before slamming his lips against hers. He pulled her tightly in close to him and kissed her for all it was worth. This was only happening once. She was right this was it. Now or never. He had this moment to convey everything he had ever felt for her. The love, the pain, absolutely everything. He braced himself for her shove, her screams of protest, but they never came.

She kissed him back, tears falling down her face. He felt them against his cheeks, warm and wet.

"I love you" He breathed.

"I love you too James Potter you buffoon!" She cried laughing.

"I never thought I'd hear those words" He uttered, rubbing his thumb across her swollen bottom lip.

"Neither did I. But I was wrong all these years. I give in, I love you James Potter whether I want to or not. I wanna live. I want this, I want us."

She kissed him again. Sitting on his lap she ran her fingers through his tangled messy hair the way she'd always pictured doing and she pulled off his ridiculous school tie. It was bliss. It was purely magical. They were lost within each other.

"You're crazy" Sirius laughed from behind them making the pair jump.

"Padfoot... How long have you been there?" James scowled, clearly aggravated at being interrupted.

"Long enough. So you've both finally pulled your wands out your arses. Congrats. I just wanted to give the cloak back" She chuckled throwing the invisibility cloak at them.

"Yes in are crazy. But this is a war and war provokes madness" Lily smiled. A truely beautiful smile.

"Well I'll leave you two love birds to it." He barked leaving the head common room with a spring in his step. "It's about bloody time!"

Without even realising it James and Lily had ignited a spark. A light of guidance, for the whole of the wizarding world. What had they gifted the earth with? Hope.

If they could come together, if a muggleborn and a pureblood could live and love, then what was the impossible? They lay together for hours in simple silence, neither daring to say a word. They were both in some element of peace.

"It's going to be hard" Lily whispered. "This war. 'll fight"

"But that's what me and you do, we fight. We always have and we probably always will to some extent And yeah it's going to be really hard and we're going to have to work at this every day. I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of forever. You and me. I love you Lils."

"This is all so messed up. It took 7 years, 946 times of you asking me out and a war to get us together."

"But would you have it any other way?" He smiled.

She thought about it for a moment. In all honesty he was right. No she wouldn't of had it any other way. If they could survive school, if they could survive seven years of living together, hating, liking loving... then what was stopping them. Nothing.


End file.
